


Thoughts of Why

by Cawaiiey



Series: Thoughts [3]
Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-02
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 08:30:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1259731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cawaiiey/pseuds/Cawaiiey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Continuation to Thoughts of Him and a Thoughts of Yu; third installation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thoughts of Why

Why?

It's the question that drills through his mind as he bolts down the stairs, head down so he doesn't have to look anyone in the eyes. He doesn't want them to notice how his eyes shine with tears. He's in and out of the classroom quickly, muttering something about how he doesn't feel well to Chie and Yukiko. Soon, he's out of the school and briskly walking towards the Dojima residence. All that he sees when he blinks is the image of Yosuke and that girl, wrapped around one another. It's burned into his retinas. 

Why?

He's glad no one is home when he walks through the door. He doesn't have to explain why he's home early to anyone yet, it gives him some time to calm down. Even though he doesn't think he'll ever get over it. Soon, he's up in his room, laying down on the couch and staring up at the ceiling. His eyes are unfocused as silent tears slide down his face to drip onto the couch. He doesn't notice them at all, too wrapped up in how empty he feels. 

Why?

He wonders if Yosuke is back in the classroom by now or if he's still on the roof. He imagines how he'll be proudly proclaiming to the others his new relationship status. He fantasizes how his name could have been the one to take the place of that girl's. He can't help but wish he had been the one to confess, had been the one to wrap himself around Yosuke, had been the one to press their lips together and breathe him in. But none of that happened and now none of it will.

Why?

How did he let it come to this? When did he fall for him exactly? Was it when he saw his bad side, the ugliness that he tried so desperately to hide? Was it when he was almost hit by a fatal blow and the brunette had shoved him out of the way to take it instead? Or maybe it was when they were at the floodplain, arms around one another, when he could feel their hearts beat in tandem? Maybe it had been gradual. Like when he started to notice how Yosuke had a tendency to nibble at his nails when he was focused intently. Or the way his foot tapped when he listened to music on the battlefield, ready to strike on command. When he would drum out a steady rhythm with his fingers on the table when they spoke, when he would hum softly with one ear uncovered by his headphones, when he would do that little half smile that made his heart thud more than it should have, when their hands would entwine when he pulled him up on the battlefield, when Yosuke's mere presence made him practically vibrate with joy. 

Why...

Did he have to fall in love with him? He looked over at the clock, feeling numb still. Only noon. The day couldn't end fast enough for him. He closed his eyes in an attempt to forget, though it didn't help much, considering that image was still there on his eyelids. He pushed the thoughts out of his mind and fell into the clutches of sleep. Who else would be there to greet him but Yosuke? 

Why?

He was practically being tortured, having to watch him smile and tell him what had happened on the roof. It felt like a knife in his chest, noticing the way his cheeks darkened but he didn't cause it, noticing the way he licked his lips like he could still taste that girl on them and Yu just wanted to collapse and cry. The scene played over and over again until the ringing of his phone yanked him from his nightmares. 

Why?

His name was there on the screen. His fingers trembled around the phone, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he debated answering. Despite his courage in most situations, he couldn't bring himself to open the phone and hear his voice. The ringing stopped, leaving him feeling guilty but slightly relieved. But the phone started blaring again, shouting at him, demanding to be answered. He felt his heart constrict and his eyes water, blurring his vision. With a deep breath, he flipped open his phone and pressed it to his ear, only one question buzzing through his mind:

Why?


End file.
